Monday, March 28, 2011

Broken Friendship. Don't let things to built up before you explode.

Things do not get right in this recently. I am just like so fail, failure. Neither friendship nor love, I am always the failure. You chose your friend, you chose to be with them. In a way, it makes your bond more meaningful because it was cultivated purposefully. The time and effort that goes into creating a friendship is hard to go through again. Let's face it, no one is perfect. Everyone gets into fights with a friend from time to time. It's completely natural, and a very common problem. No matter how hard you try, or how loving or respectful of a couple you are,you are bound to get into a disagreement once in a while.  It can be very hard losing a friend. They are the ones we trust all of our secrets. They are who we turn to when we need help, and we do the same. Life is too short and too long to carry drama over your friendship. It's just not worth the problem it creates. Peoples make mistakes, and as long as they are a good person, they deserve a second chance.

I know it might sound cliche or that you might think that you're the one that deserves an apology. But the truth is that if you don't want to waste a lot of time and emotion then your best bet is to apologize. Even if  it is not your fault, apology is an effective strategi. For the most part,  every fight has some right or wrong on both sides. Apologizing is a key to rebuilding your friendship. It works because when someone has done something nice to them, they feel an immediate need to return the favor. That mean they'll soften up and likely apologize.

Ways to handle.
1. Give your partner enough space to voice his or her concerns.
I'm sure you hate it when people interrupt you, give your partner the same respect, even if you don't agree with what they are saying.

2. Make an extra effort to really understand what you partner is trying to say.
It is very easy to fall into the trap of thinking you know what they are saying, when in fact you may not have a clue. If your partner feels like you understand what they are saying, you'll find a way to end the argument far more quickly.

3. Don't say something you'll regret later.
Always consider your relationship like a glass. It is sturdy, tough, beautiful and clear when taken care of, but if it is mistreated or mishandled it can end up scratched, cracked or even broken. Take care in choosing the words you say when you are in the heat of the moment.

4. Don't bring in past woes.
The past is the past, let it stay there. If you dwell on past occurrences, you'll never find a solution for the future your partner will feel less loved and respected, and you will always feel negatively towards your partner. People make mistakes. Give your partner the chance to recover from them, and encourage and support them when they make the right choices.

5. Learn to compromise.
If you can learn to compromise, you'll find yourself in fewer disagreements. If you don't like something, then agree with your partner to find some middle ground. This also applies the other way. Be willing to come up with alternative solutions for things your partner doesn't like as well!

6. Realize that no matter what you say, you both may not agree on the issue at hand.
An argument is typically started because you want someone to agree with you about something. You think that the other person must not know all the facts, so you begin to explain it to them. The more your partner still disagrees with you, the more upset you usually get. But, if you realize that sometimes it is best to just let yourselves agree to disagree, you'll show your partner that you not only respect their opinion, but respect their individuality as well. You never know, maybe later on they (or even you!) might change their mind.

7. Make a commitment to talk about the situation until it is handled.
It's far too easy to run off and avoid your partner, or give them the silent treatment. Instead, make a commitment right now to each other to respect each other enough to work it out, even if it takes all night. Nothing is unsolvable when you are working together to truly find a peaceful resolution.

8. Make your relationship with your partner your first concern when you are in the middle of a disagreement.
This does not mean bend over backwards for them or compromise your integrity. Just keep in mind that the person you are arguing with is your best friend, lover and soul mate. If you both keep that at the forefront of your mind in an argument, it will keep what matters most away from cruel words or intent, your heart!

不想再当爱情的傀儡, 那真的好累好累。 有时候也会相像儿童般无忧无虑。 总是依照着长辈安排好的路径, 无须担忧, 那该有多好。现在的我感觉好颓废, 像一艘舢板在大海茫茫, 找不到陆地靠岸的舢板, 舢板受伤了的时候, 想呐喊救命的时候,  哭得歇斯底里的时候, 身边也只是一波一波的花浪在聆听。想放弃的时候, 却没人愿意在旁伸出援手。 等到想努力的时候, 也只是自己再为自己努力争取一次呼吸的机会。迷茫的时候, 没有指南针朋友, 只有意志立敌人。

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